Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
