Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
