I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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