I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
