I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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