escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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