Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
