There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
