why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
