..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
