i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
