just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
