i don't like sucking hair
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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