At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
