I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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