We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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