butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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