dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
