"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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