Tell her she can't have a vagina
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
