So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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