super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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