Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
