Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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