just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The struggles of a small town man whore
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
