Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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