We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm bleeding and have questions
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
