o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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