Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
