Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize