She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
