so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
