I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We need to rekindle our bromance
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
