Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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