Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
