i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
