if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
