It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
