Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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