The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just google imaged poop.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
