alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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