my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
