I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
