i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
