she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
