In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
