Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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