i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
