I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
look no pants
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
