I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
