69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
