we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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