I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
