I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
