why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize