There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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