sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
