I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
