We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
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